


you're still all i dream about

by orphan_account



Series: i'd trade all my tomorrows for just one yesterday [2]
Category: The Maze Runner (2014), The Maze Runner Series - All Media Types, The Maze Runner Series - James Dashner
Genre: Past Character Death, Past Minewt, Post-The Death Cure, The Death Cure Spoilers, thominho friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-01
Updated: 2015-03-01
Packaged: 2018-03-15 20:44:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 712
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3461372
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He doesn't have room in his heart for more than three people, and two are already lost, one to the maze and another to the Flare.</p>
            </blockquote>





	you're still all i dream about

He dreams of Newt, of the madness in his eyes and of him slumping to the ground, dead, no matter how hard Minho tries to save him. He dreams of Alby and Ben and Grievers and lighting storms and brain dead Cranks with the same eyes as his best friend and he wakes up screaming every morning.  
Some nights he dreams Newt is immune, and he sleeps long enough for them to get to Paradise, and it's perfect, and he wakes up sobbing, his lips still tingling from the ghost of Newt's kiss. He thinks these nights are the worst, because it's everything he has ever wanted but will never have, and he feels the pain of losing Newt again every time he wakes.  
He knows Thomas has nightmares too, hears him screaming for Chuck and Teresa and Newt, but they don't talk about them. In the mornings, when they both emerge as shivering, sobbing messes from the clutches of their nightmares, Minho tosses him his shoes and they run, trying to forget, trying to feel the happiness they were promised they could find here that feels farther out of reach than ever.  
Paradise is anything but happy. It's a living nightmare disguised as a daydream, because everyone who would have made it beautiful is gone, and they're left with too bright colors and too wide of smiles and everything seems tacky and forced, like happiness and color and beauty should have ceased to exist when their friends did. Minho is lost, drowning in memories that haunt him every time he closes his eyes, in the way that everything around him reminds him of someone he’s lost; the kids of Chuck and the Council of Alby and the waves and brown eyes and smiles and the sun and blonde hair and everything reminding him of Newt, and for a moment the thought of him makes him happy and then reality crashes in and grief threatens to overwhelm him because Newt is gone, and he’ll never see his gorgeous eyes or hear one of his shucking sarcastic comments again and it’s all his fault, because he left him behind.  
When they return they join Brenda and Jorge at breakfast with Harriet, Minho's co-leader. He had been surprised when she had stepped up to lead beside him, but mostly he was glad, because she understood without him telling her that he's lost people and sometimes everything gets to be too much. She doesn't try to be friends really, doesn't even talk to him except for about running the place, and he's glad. He doesn't have room in his heart for more than three people, and two are already lost, one to the maze and another to the Flare. Thomas is the only person he has left that he can bring himself to care about, and he's pretty sure if he could stop caring about him he would, because then it wouldn't hurt so much when Thomas abandons him in favor of Brenda.  
It's not that he doesn't like Brenda, he does. She's a good person, he thinks, but he doesn't know her, and he hates her just a bit for taking Thomas away from him so much, because Thomas is the only person who understands, who still wants to hang around him, and now the only time he really gets to see him is when they run in the mornings, because he's busy leading and Thomas is busy with Brenda. And Thomas says he loves Brenda, that she's good for him, and yet it's Minho who wakes him up from his nightmares, who tells him Teresa knows he forgave her, who sits with him and tells stupid jokes when everything gets to be too much. Brenda laughs and smiles and talks of the future, even though Minho can clearly tell that Thomas is still stuck in memories of the past, still too broken over Teresa's death to really love Brenda like he wants to.  
But Minho doesn't say anything, just like Thomas doesn't say anything when Minho wakes up with Newt's name on his lips, whimpering in pleasure rather then screaming in horror. He just watches as Thomas plasters on a smile and Brenda grins back like she can't tell his smile is fake.


End file.
